Questions of the moment.

1. Is video bowling the new 'social activity' amoung twenty somethings, or is Des Moines super lame? I am a bit torn on this question, because I am a fan of the video bowling. This is why. We are going to back track a bit here so bear with me.

When I moved to Des Moines, I knew it was the right choice for the time but I wasn't sold. Even with two years under my belt in a great job I wasn't sold on Des Moines. Part of this I attribute to the transformation into the "responsible" adult world where at times it can be considered "frowned upon" when you go out every night and know the drink specials by heart. So where does one meet people in Des Moines? I don't spend alot of time with people from work (other than Kelli) because inevitably- you end up talking about work. I go to book stores and coffee shops, but I go there to be quiet and read- not scam for someone that has things in common. I am involved in a few other Des Moines non-profits but no good matches- I think "work Claire" and "friend Claire" are different enough that it takes a strong person to understand both. My mind frame for Des Moiens was temporary, as most of my living stints have been- and then it occured to me that I have a load of great friends right here in Des Moines and I should spend time with them. By being a regular part of their life I am not commiting to living here forever- I am simply making the most of the situation.
and then there was bowling...five weeks ago, on a Monday night, Kelli and I got off work and decided that the best way to settle the day would be to have a few drinks. We decided to go to the Hessen Haus because it is downtown and we could get dinner... I called Tony and Cy, beacuse in my revelation of making the most of friends, they were a huge part of it. (up until recently, I saw Tony more often when we lived hours apart) So tony recommended the High Life Lounge where another friend of ours, Billy, manages. We met at 6:00, had a burger basket, played three games each, and drank 8 pitchers of beer and league night was born. It has grwon from four players to eight and I anticipate that it is on the rise.
What I have come to realize that we took something average, and made it great. It doesn't cost a lot of money- you are surrounded by great friends, and it is super chill. We have a great server at the bar- his name is Mike and he is 20- super cute and pretty vulgar and innapropriate at times. Love him. So- I am starting to makeover the Des Moines social scene one night at a time.
Note: This is a huge step for me as I don't get into alot of th "artsy" cover bullshit that people are trying to generate. It seems to be lie it is a group of people who like to talk about how different they are and sacrafice integrity for some sort loner/struggling artist image. excuse me while I yawn.

2. The single thing. Defying the social norms with an independent view of realtionships. I have thought of this more recently after having this discussion with a few different groups of friends. I have friends that are married with children, friends in serious longterm relationships, friends having sex for burritos, and friends so focussed on their careers that they haven't had any sort of intimacy in a year. So where do I fall? Gladly, i do not belong in any of these categories, thankfully. though and one time or another I have fit into them all- except the marriage and kids thing. ( you were hoping it was the burrito category- hey a girls go to eat..right Sam?) I attribute my place to a few different elements.
a. generation/standards gap. We seem to be in the middle of a gap between the expectation to go to college, get a job, get married, have kids. I know that this is a coice but I find even now that I have single friends who think less of them selves because they have yet to acheive this. They continually compare themselves to family members and their own parents making references like," when my mom was my age, she already had two kids and she had been married for six years." great- you aren't your mom. the other end of the spectrum includes the friends who are terrified of and king of normalacy and thrive on no responsibility. they could be the group that is focussed on their carreers or even the group who really evjoys casual sex and doesn't feel the need to be emotionally involved to be intimate physically with someone. Again- though I have touch upon both of these groups- it's just not me.
why not? I have unbelievable friends. I have friends and family that represent tis spectrum and I have learned a great deal from their experiences. I have had my own experiences that have shaped this view but more so from those around me. Also- my friends provide for me what most people will never experience.... the complete emotional, social, loving, caring, trusting, amazing qualities that make it nearly impossible to find a mate that would begin to compare. Tough shoes to fill.... but lets be hones- Mama's shoes need to be filled every know and them. wink. I will also have to add that I have not been near the best examples of "happy, healthy marriages" within my own family. It's not baggage I am carrying, rather a better understanding of what I want from a person. So there you have my perspective in a nutshell.
Could I kill a clown for no reason other than it being a clown? yes. Clon terrify me. Iam not sure why but I cannot be near them, it freaks me out. I do not have anxiety about any other things- but clowns- eugh. One day at camp last year one of the counselors had their mom come in in full on clown get up and I walked into the room unknowingly. After I blurted, "Who let that in here?" I went outside and threw up. yeah- like that freaked out.

I had a dream the other night that I was in a large house and friends with some NFL players- everyone left and I was walking around looking for a place to take a nap. (football players wear me out- ooh- Ashton Kutcher was there too- we wrestled.) As I am wondering around this huge house I see a huge, red, cobra snake. This snke is ten feet tall and looking for me. So I duck out in a closet and stand still and watch it pass before running upstairs and hiding in the Master bath with two exits. I planned that this was the room to hide in because of the multiple exits.
When I woke up I looked it up in my dream dictionary and basically it sadi taht a close friend would deceive and disapooint me but Iw ould be aware of it and watch it pass, and that I would make unhealthy assumptions about the situations, but it would pass and everything would be fine. In the words of my late grandfather,"horse shit."

Sam is in town and we had a blast last night. If possible, we have crossed a new level of friendship and we can never turn back. without revealing too many details I will say that at one point Sam had his underwear around his ankles and was chasing me around the room. Hilarious. anyone who can stand in front of you naked without any sort of sexual vibe tugging at their dick narrating that "it's weird, you can pull it all the way over here- or here- or here" and then chase you around the room, tackle you, and try to stick in your ear- well, that is a good friend.

To all of you- have great weekend. I will have pictures Monday of the weekends events.

ciao!

C

Chris Kilgore- if you are still reading.... where are you?