Chapter Five: Emotions of a weekend

I will start the weekend on Thursday... because that is when it starts- or at least the anicipation of the weekend.

Thursday morning my Aunt (who has been like a second mom to me) had to put her dog to sleep. her dog was 15 years old- and was the only "child" my aunt has ever known. this dog was just as much family as myself or my brother or my sister. It was a bit surreal, my brother and I went over to my grandmothers and cooked dinner for everyone and ther was great sadness hanging over us. I don't know if anyone has ever had a dog for 15 years, but I have had Steve for just over a year and I can't imagine life without him. (Steve is my dog for those that aren't avid readers) Friday morning I took them breakfast- because nothing comforts the loss of a loved one like food- isn't that strange- I know that your dog died, but i brought you bagels and juice....

I dropped these off and hit the road for Minneapolis. I was excited to be driving- with little time frame restraints. I was pleased with the sunshine and the open road and the great music in my car, and the fact that I have a car that I can enjoy all of these. I am driving and I am happy, and then I start to remember other things that make me really happy- like my friends. When Sam was home in October and the minute he came to my house I had a skirt and cheap little shirt that said something about being boy crazy and a hilarious red wig with a purple bow- and he came to the house and Cody and I informed him that we were all going to a drag birthday party and when we got there everyone was horribly ackward.... everyone was pretty much already asexual looking- and so there was no clarification as to their sex by dressing in drag. But we went all out with fake lashes and all that and it was insane and I thought of it during my drive and I laughed- a really good laugh, for about 15 minutes. sam is coming home this weekend and I can't wait to see him.

I get to St. Paul to see Paul (not the Saint, rather my old camp director and mentor) so I get to his office and we hang out for a couple of hours and then we go to his house, bout a 45 minute drive..and he gives me this amazing cd to listed to and this makes me completely content - to be driving in a city with the windows down and music that makes my soul calm. we arrive at his house and catch up with his wife Nattaya (pronounced Nathia) and his son cameron- who I have known since he was 6- and now he is 14. We went to dinner and had great conversation and watched a Monty python movie.. The life of David- and it was hilarious.... Saturday morning I woke up at 5:45... a mere 4.5 hours after I had fallen to slumber... (still not sleeping so much) and I read.. Paul joined me at 6:45 and we went for coffee, went to see his first camp that he started at 15 years ago, and went to the car wash... where they wash, vaccum, do windows inside and out for $13. I love that place. We had great talks, laughed, it was grand. We picked Cam up at the house and headed to Borders where books were discovered and I picked up a gift for my friend Emily.

I met with this guy at Wilderness Inquiry in Minneapolis- great place- the provide outdoor adventure trips for people with and without disabilities... anywhere from 2-30 day canoe, kayak, hiking- really cool program.

I headed ot of Minneapolis around 1:00 and for some reason I had a really uneasy feeling that I was leaving a feeling behind- the feeling of a content freedom where time does not bound and I could relax. there is also great comfort in knowing and being people who really know you. I suppose I enjoyed this so much because there was nothing expected of me. I loved it. Paul told me before I left that if I moved to Minneapolis he would find me a job and a place to live in a heart beat. I love Paul Thorne, and Nattaya and Cam.

The drive back was slow... but I arrived in Des Moines with anticipation of Emily's going away party. She is joining the Peace Corp for 2 years and will be in South East Africa. I am so proud of her. Her party was so much fun. I went with Cody, Sarah, and Kelli. Justin was there and I saw Nick- who I used to hang out with a bit in Iowa City and it was just a great night. We danced, made friends, made fun of a few ridiculous people... namely the girl with bad hair that was possibly trying to reproduce with this guy on the dance floor, though they were both fully dressed.... I will not call it dancing... rather- it was closer to a embarassing, uncoordinated dry hump... it could have been a wet hump- but I wasn't getting that close. and then there was the guy in the suit clapping the entire time.... and he told us to stop talking shit because we we were all clapping with him... I told him to just enjoy himself.... as we were. Many drinks were had and we enjoyed the company we were in and it was nice. I loved every minute of it.

Sunday I went to a memorial for my great uncle and I sat there looking at pictures of his life wishing that I knew him better. I wouldn't call it regret, for it was just in the past year that I really had spoken with him- but he led an incredible life and I thought that was underappreciated. He did not have a wife or children but he had his friends, and this was his legacy- and I can understand this. This makes sense to me. It was evident that his friends loved him, and he had great friends. They put together this amazing photo slideshow video with Sinatra in the background- very well done.

Last night I spent time with my brother and he was very content- I think he is getting his shit together and that makes me happy.

I am reflective on this Monday morning- but I also am content. Looking forward to the chaos that is around the corner.

cheers.
c