I want my MTV! Signed, Talentless Pop Icons

I read this on the bathroom wall at Joe's place this last weekend in Iowa City. I thought it to be quite humurous... partly because of my recent dedication to talentless pop icons. (reader beware, the following is opinion- judge not.) Perhaps it is my camp state of mind that propells me into a state of want with ridiculous, sappy, love songs. case in point: I bought the Jessica Simpson cd and have Brittney on order.... I know you are ashamed... especially those of you that I have shared my musical depths with at great length- I give you my word that this is not a pattern, rather an environmental condition which allows my to be increasingly sensitive and want to sing at the top of my lungs to the breathy voice of a dim witted pop icon. Angels- oh yeah- I'm all over it in the shower (though I do prefer Robbie Williams version a bit better)... for later at night I like to turn on the radio in hopes of hearing a bit of Brittney- because she really knows how I am feeling right now. (insert perplexion, dazed look) I laugh at myself as these words leave my fingers- partly because I cannot believe I have let them go- this is really the sort of thing that I should keep to myself. I suppose if my friends can still admit their weakness for Wilson Phillips and Sam can still cry to Bonnie Raitt, then I am doing alright. You sing it Sam, sing it!
"I can't make you love me!"

and the winner is.... Susan Lucci!
I had a total alcohol inducced outburst.... I compare this to Susan Lucci because she gave her best time and time again and never really one the daytime Emmy until a year ago... well my performance is that of a non winning year for Susan, and myself. First of all, I would like to thank my friends, Budweiser, Bacardi, Quervo, and Cosmo.... I feel they deserve the most recognition in preparing me for my role. Also, my costars, who were unusually unsensitive to me creating the perfect platform for my non-winning performance. and best supporting role goes to Luke- who really did support me after it was all said and done... and I love him for that. for those close to me- you know that I am not an angry or emotional drunk- but damn I guess if you get personal when I am not at my wits best, I'll get you- and your friend. Seriously- it was a hilarious but embarassing performance. two close friends who were also drinking heavily were being assholes and usually I can just brush it off but this night I suppose many incidents all slammed together and they got the brunt of it. truth be known, I have not surrounded myself with people that made me feel this shitty for many years, nor will I. True personalitites surfaced and I realized that above anything else, I deserve the fantastic friends that I have in my life... and the rest of them can kiss it. this was the same night that I went to the garden for a brief moment and saw Sam, Monsoor, and Spencer. Great people, great friends. Talented people I adore. We may not talk everyday, or see each other at every weekend, but somehow it seems better.

My dearest Luke, I miss you even though you are here. I love you.

Jim, you are not dead to me.. (close one) I can't wait to see you in the fall.

This last weekend I went to Iowa City to spend time with Allison. I took a guy friend from camp and it had the potential to be an outstanding weekend.... but it wasn't. I didn't feel that the guy that went with me to Iowa City had the least bit of idea of the person that I am or the person that I want to be.... it was completely frustrating. (because at one point, for a half a second, I thought maybe he could something to me...don't fret readers- to no avail- he passed none of the tests...he is a friend at best) I need some space from him. It was awesome to see Allison and Brian and this was really nice. I miss Alli so much. I wish that the weekend could have been the girls- like the good 'ol days- but it didn't work that way... and soon the weekend was absorbed by what my friend wanted to do- and that was shitty. This weekend will be away from people- I need to be on my time.


Chris Kilgore- i miss you. now, and yesterday, and tomorrow.

Spencer- I hope things are well for you- all the best in your new adventures.

Cody- 'member when we talked on the phone and laughed for an hour and a half- I loved that.

Brittney Spears- love what you've done with the new album. BFF


Aww- I should go- it is 8:00 and I am still at work and would prefer not to be here.

Ciao.
c