Thanks for Giving.

My computer is up and going again, thank you IT. I had a serious encounter with some sort of virus that basically destroyed everythingin my computer. We're up and running again and thanks to the internet, my productivity at work has slouched to a dismal low- however, I am much more informed on current events and ina better state of creativity. therefore, I feel it is all justified.

An apology comes your way for ending the last blog wwith hopes of a therapist and then not writing for a month. No dice- no therapy here. I go in loops, as does every person I know and I was on the downside for a few days. My therapy is life itself. I find sanity in listening to others and knowing that if even for a minute, I can help someone out. Sounds like bullshit- but i feel this way. Ooh- except for three days in particular when I was super bummed because my good friend jim had left and everyone around me was having a tough spell. I was their support and for the first time it was difficult for me.

Alright. So Jim left two weeks ago. I had anticipated his departure since his arrival but it did not take away the impact of his absence in my life. I think it would have been easier if I had just seen him a few times.. but he was here for three months and it was wonderful. Jims last night i town... how do I describe it... complete hilarious, sentimental, incredible times.
Jim, Ryan, and Mason met up with me at Mary's bar, which is a local favorite. we had a few drinks and made our way downtown to meet up with a few friends. We stopped by and picked up Eric, who is such a funny bastard, and went downtown to Raccoon River. RR is a favorite of mine and a great place to drink and shoot pool with friends. I will have to say that I amazed myself by playing the worst pool I have ever played in my life. Sean met up with us at RR and he was my partner. My apologies. After a few drinks we made our way, me and the boys, to the Hessen Haus where we had another beer and I decided to start drinking water. Ijust knew it was going to be one of those nights. Jim made a toast to everyone at the table and it was super sweet and very funny. Ryan was having a great night and it took several reminders from everyone for him to wait his turn. Hilarious. We made a few stops before ending up at my house where we tried on various wigs, danced, talked, and walked around camp and played on the swings. Random, but fun. At 4:00 I decided to retire though my mind was not ready for slumber. Jim joined me after a bit and we talked until the wee hours of the morn. We also discovered that there are no songs that celebrate South Korea... I came up with the line in the Lauryn Hill song," fake nails done by Koreans", but somehow, it didn't seem just. Jim left the next morning and thought there were a thousand things I wanted to tell him, and I wanted to hug him and nake him never leave, I said goodbye, and watched his car disappear down the drive. a year. a year until I will see him again. ugh. This scenario plays brilliantly into my theory that it is always easier to be the one that leaves. For years, that was me, and I couldn't understand the saddness that those who cared for me felt when I left because I knew I would be back. However, staying behind, you are able to see your environment change because this great friend is no longer there. It is a loss, it is my lss, and it makes me sad. Luckily I have great friends that will replaced him as soon as he left. Jim, you are dead to me. teehee.

Some other things happened, and let me highlight this past week or so.

Ooh- I went to stay with Cody for the night in Iowa City. It was great Cody and Claire time. We went for dinner and saw some of his friends that were opening a little space in the hall mall for their art and it was all too familiar of "things I should have/could have/might do" category. I think that Cody and I both walked out of there with a sense of purpose to begin being creative again. It really makes one feel a different kind of fullfilled. Necessary. We went back to Cody's and to pass the time Cody and I have a ridiculous way of making up games. Usually we play cards, and usually it is before we go out so we are most generally drinking. This time we were without cards so we chose to play charades. Category was friends... we each wrote down ten people we both knew and then put them in a hat... then we had to act them out. So funny. In the end we decided to play "Drinking Photo Album" where we each flipped through a stack of pitcures and if you were in the picture, you had to drink. How old am I? Exactly.
the night was a blast, we hung out with Chris and his pals... only a few were socially awkward, which is rare. it was SO great to see Chris. I miss him. Randomly, at Joe's, we ran into Ryan and Eric and teamed up with them for a trip to the Que. Things start to get blurry right about here... ooh- then we went to the gay bar where I beat Eric at pool, Ryan disappeared (went to hook up with an ex-girl), and I met Matt's dad... compltet whirlwind. Then we get to Cody's and I puked in the bathroom and then in the kitchen sink. duh. gross. I am such a classy lady.

On to Thanksgiving weekend. Wednesday night, as everyone knows is the best night of the year. People drink more in T-day eve than any other Holiday, I believe. We start at the Griffins with Donna, Ellen, Lela, Grandma, and Sam and before too long, my best friend Kyle gets there and its on. There is little space for comment when you are at the Griffins because damn, we are funny. I will have to say that I feel more myself at the Griffins thatn at my own families Holidays. D&E made pizza (delicious) and word around town was that Grandma was on the next bus out of town which I will have to say, put a little sparkle in Lela's eyes. Nikki Z stopped by and we all shared stories before the conversation went sour and Sam talked about country music... not to worry, we quickly changed the subject. Awww Tanner arrived and we were off. We pile into the Expidition with drinks in tow and head to the first bar of the evening, The blazing saddle, where we were... NOT IMPRESSED. Sam got a digital camera and we decided that we were going to take a pre-bar and post-bar picture for every place we went. I am sure that Sam will post some of these pictures so to take a peek, go to http://www.samuelgriffin.blogspot.com and have a read while you are there. HILARIOUS. After the saddle we sit in the car and have a beer and listen to Dolly Parton before going into the garden. there were a bunch of super shorties in this bar, though stylish, and wouldn't you know I was curious. I talked to the guy with the pseudo mullet/mohawk and found that he was from Scotland and touring with Disney on ice. Aha! This explains the height thing.... cute, he was. He told me I had beautiful teeth (he was standing on my left side) and I told him that wasn't much of a compliment because he was from Scotland. and you know how they grills is all messed up. He got really drunk, and I got prettier, and then I had to peel him off of me (he couldn't stand) and I passed him on to Tanner, and then his friend peeled him off of Tanner before the got a cab. Or pictures got more ridiculous as the night went on and I can honestly say that It was the best night I have had ina long time. We were all on the same level- we could dance together or make new friends, any way we were the life of the bar. We went back to Lela's only after calling her to scream into the phone and giggle.... and ate pizza and whatever else wasn't bolted down. Great times.
I was late waking up at Sam's and had to get home to make my Turkey. yeah- me making the Turkey. It turned out beautiful and I scored a four hour nap. what a great thing. Thanksgiving was at my brothers for the first time because we were tired of all of the drama at my aunts. So we did up LeCroy style with a solid round, a few beers, and my nephew playing the cello. I used to play th cello so my grandma asked me to play for everyone so I decided to give them a little something..... and the crowd went wild. way to upstage a 10 year old Claire. hey- wherever i can get it.

Much more to say but little time- I will write more soon.

Cody, hang in there. check your comments. I love yas.

Jim, if you are reading, come here. now.

c

W is president, kittens are dead

As best summarized by my friend Sam.... Everytime someone votes for George W., a kitten is killed. Well, nearly 60 million kittens are dead. I hope all of the greedy republicans look up from their tax breaks long enough to know that kittens are dead and America is divided. I am not a huge fan of felines... but kittens, come on. Bastards.

I will have to say that the results of this years election have left me and many close to on the brink of leaving the country. I will be moving to Portugal to reside in peace, until Ammerica gets it shit together. am I doing my part to help this country? Why yes I am.

I haven't blogged in a while because I sort of got tired about talking about the same things.... I struggle with making this blog entertaining and speaking the unfiltered truth about my innermost thoughts... which would reflect a more in depth journal.... I have struggled with this since the beginning of blog.

Socially my life is consistent, I have been having a great time as of late rekindling old friendships and starting many new. There needs to be a balance because I find it hard to have my friends from the old days lingering in the wings... I suppose I am selfish and want them near all the time, but I feel guilty when I share great times with new people. I need to call Allison. I feel really shitty about not talking to her. she is one of the greatest friends I could ever ever have in my life and I have just not called her in quite some time. She hasn't called either, but I should call.

I am thinking of going to see a therapist. for those of you that know me will also know that this is insane (no pun intended) as I am often the role of therapist to many of my friends. But truth be told, I don't feel like I have a hold on parts of my life and I need to set these bags down. I am not one to unload on friends, because I do not enjoy the super empathetis aspects of friendship. I don't want people to feel sorry for my life- it is great. I just need someone to help me to sort through some of this shit so I can get a better idea of what is really mine and what I can let go.
(that was tough for me to write publically)

I won an award at the Annual banquet for work. It is the Charlie Funk Integrity award. First ever and most prestigious of all awards. I was proud of myself. Recognition goes a great distance.... so does pay- bt I work for a non-profit so the pay part doesn't really apply.

I am really wanting to go back to school. I have some conflicting ideas of what I want to do. On one hand I would like to continue to work with Easter Seals and gain a knowledge of marketing and advertising with hope of working for the National office to gain an opportunity to be a visual advocate for people with disabilities- I would run the place if I could.
On the other hand I am wanting to study nueroscience so that I can assist in curing Autism. this really makes sense to me and I would love to pursue it. I don't really know where to start.
Regardless of the road I choose, I know that working in this field is something that I was meant to do. and I love it. even on the bad days.

Some friends and I went to a Halloween party last weekend and it was quite entertaining. Cody and I went as Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen. He was Mary Kate and I did his make-up so he looked way too thin. It was quite hilarious. My friend Jim went as a breakdancer and Ryan went as a hick. It wqas a hilarious evning. Thank you Kristi for the great hospitality.

Alright- back to work for me. This was my brief lunch break and now back to the grind.

the best o yas.
c