Rest in Peace..... Terry Schiavo

I will take this opportunity to sway in a direction opposite of the usual sarcasm and cynicism for this blog. I will take this opporortunity to share a guarded and often underplayed purpose of this blog, which is: my sicere opinion.

Terry Schiavo died today after her feeding tube was removed fourteen days ago at the order of her husband. Her parents faught for her life and pleaded with the supreme courts to keep her alive. I felt this death to be cruel and uncalled for, but her husband wanted to move on with his life and did not believe in divorce. nice. The media plays on this death in a variety of ways. They sympathize with the parents for fighting for their daughter. They empathize with the husband in his efforts to regain his normalacy and end a life that she wouldn't have wanted. What I didn't hear- is someone honestly speaking on behalf of Terry. Here is the thing. Her husband was holding on to the idea that this was a fully functioning woman trapped in a body without motion. the truth of it is, that Terry had had a heart attack, leaving her with brain damage and relying on a feeding tube for her nourishment. there was still a person very alive, it just wasn't the same person that Mr. Schiavo married. She smiled at ther parents, she felt pain, she responded to voices, she moved her eyes to indicate yes or no.

I work with folks like Terry quite often, regardless how they arrived at this life, I cannot imagine how another person, regardless of relation, could make a choice to end a persons life- with NO living will attached. Nothing. It was his preference. ugh. It seems to me that this case has taken us back a few steps in the area of awareness and equality for people with disabilities. I tink that if this was an animal, and someone slowly took away all of its basic needs, food and water, that Mr. Schiavo would be in jail right now for cruelity to animals. I have no doubt in my mind.

It is disappointing. Feel free to disagree, but these are my thoughts.

I hope Terry is living a full life, whereever she may be, and hands out a huge bitch slap to her husband should they ever reunite.

my best,
c

Time flies when Cortez offers to make you a beautiful gown...

I will start with last weekend. There are pictures that represent the tomfoolery of this event, but you will have to visit Sam for that, as I am still waiting for my pictures(at this point you will have to go through the March Archives). (SAM!) Here is the thing. When Sam is in town, we often go to the same places, do the same things, and end up having a completely original and hilarious time. this last weekend (now two weeks ago- I am horrible about keeping up the blog) (now three weeks ago- I am even worse than I thought)was not any different, and for this, I loved every minute. For Sam's perspective on the event, just click his little name above and you can get the full scoop- my perspective is a little different. Thursday night Tanner and Sam and I had a pretty low key night which consisted of drinking quite a few drinks, programming tanner's i-pod, trying to locate "new venues" for our night out, and did I mention drinking? I think the best part of this is that when you have a friend that lives accross the country.



I'll keep going here- so your friend lives in NYC and they come back and though you can picture their great life in another place, it doesn't seem to conflict with how you know them here. I like that. We spent hours talking and listening to music and revealing life and love and struggles and triumphs... no this is not lifetime for women here- it was a great time. we also had our caddy moments where we blurted ridiculous accusations about people we barely know for the sake of makig us feel a bit better. More of that to come. We try to go someplace new- to watch people sing Karaoke- because I think this is the greatest thing. Especially if people are really horrible. I really like people that sing well too- I don't know where the fascination comes from, but I like the confidence that one has to get up in front of a group and sing by themselves for nothing other than wanting other people to hear them sing. it is a socially accepted arrogance and i love it! I have sang a time or too myself and i will have so say that... (insert title of blog).

I have been working on this entry for a week now and thing it is time to finish it up with the purpose of it all.



Friday night we claim that we are going to take it easy but it is a joke before it is even said. I put the pretties on and put on my hollywood wig (not really- but I was sporting a rather trendy 'do)and the stillettos and we are off. By the time we leave the house, most of us are legally poisoned. Mansoor is our designated driver, though for some reason we drove three cars there and only one back. weird. So we arrive at the Garden and as we walk in the huge black man smiles at me like I am the last twinkie in the box. ( I know that it is completely irrelevant that this man is black- but there is a pattern here if you read previous blogs.) I look behind me because he smiled like he knew me- and I didn't know him- so I go to the bathroom, and then come out and sit at the far end of the table from where he is playing pool. Role call: In the ensemble for the night is, Mansoor, Seth, Sam, Tanner, and Joe. and me- the token straight girl and the backbone of their community. We sit and talk for quite some time and there is a weird tension at the table because even though Sam won't say it TO Tanner, he realy isn't excited that Joe is here. Regardless, Joe and I hit it off, and I start on my path to self destruction via entertainer. I haven't enjoyed myself this much in a long time. It was incredible. All of the guys that I was with are extremely inteligent and talented- and all of us were ready to let loose a bit. Crazy man keeps staring at me and I avoid his glances because I think that he is looking at Mansoor- Mansoor is really pretty. So, everytime my "around the room glance" crosses him, he smiles, and then does this weird twitchy blink thing and then looks away. It looked like he thought he was going to take a drink of coke and it was milk- that kind of look- but not so disgusted. alas, he approaches the table and whispers something in Tanner's ear. Tanner points to Mansoor (I knew it!) and then to me (ugh) He walks away and I ask what was said. Tanner informs me that he said that I was really pretty and he wanted to know my name. So I play along, figuring that a little attention can't hurt a girl every now and then- and considering that I am in a gay bar, with pretty men and scary women (its just how it works) I feel good that I have beat the "sexual preference" odds. So I throw him a smile, yet try to avoid any sort of actual conversation. He comes towards the table and I go to get a drink. I turn around and he is straight up in my face. " You are the most beautiful girl in this bar." wow- thanks. there are approximately ten of us, and two of them I had already secretly referred to as "dykes of the dead" (super dark circles under their eyes- lots of flannel..) flattery was not the first thing to spring forth from this conversation... BUT IT GETS EVEN BETTER (drum roll) "I am not into skinny girls, I think you are perfect. I like big girls." Awesome. So now I feel super fucking beautiful. I know I am big and all- but ya don't have to let me know that you only do fat chicks- not awesome for the self esteem. I proceed to get my drink and he asks me if I have a boyfriend. I reply," Not really." I like this response because it gives me an out. If he turns out to be super cool (wasn't going to happen) then I could clarify that it actualkly means no, but in this circumstance I can use it as,"it doesn't matter, cause ya ain't gettin' in the honey pot." So I get a beer and he writes down his number. He had introduced himself as Jamal, but the number had Cortez written on it... hmmm. So I ask- what does this say... here is the deal maker... he answers his phone and puts his hand up to my face so that I will stop talking- and then walks away. super charming- when can he meet my mother. so I take his number and throw it accross the table and notice that another guy playing pool noticed the entire event. "you are way too good for him" to which I reply,"really." (insert sarcasm with evident facial expression) So Cortez comes back over and I inform him that our conversation is over that he has absolutely no chance in hell. He explains to me that he makes suits for a living and that he could make me a beautiful gown. "Why would I need a beautiful gown?" For our first, date he explains. I give him the gentle let down filled with sensitvity. i say,"yeah, no. not going to happen." I decide to play pool and they guy who had declared that I was too good for the Cortez decides to play. He asks me if I am straight, bla blah blah. He gives me the text book story that he is straight but just out with friends tonight.... so as we are playing, this guy- who I had assumed had some sort of common sense, or manners, or any of that, takes his pool cue- sticks it in between my legs, and asks my for my number. I wish I was kidding- but I speak only the sad truth. I kindly reply that although he is charming and knows how to talk to a lady- that there will be know numbers exchanged. I usually like a guy to at least take me to dinner before shoving things between my legs. Mansoor offered to investigate to see how many kis Cortez has, if he was married, and although I appreciate the "wing man" stepping up, it just wasn't worth the amusement. where does this leave me?
wondering, i suppose, if this is a good as it is going to get. It can't possibly get worse. Why do I subject myself to this? WEll, first of all, it is hilarious. I wouldn't have "played along" as long if the boys had not been there with me. But I had a full table of cheerleaders who thought this entire debacle was as entertaining as it in fact, was. Truth be told- I have never entered a gay bar hoping to hook up or meet the straight man of my dreams. I go to have a great time with great friends and that is that. any additional supporting characters are pure chance and often great entertainment. Here is the truth- to all men out there. If you are going to try to get the honey, you have to be one unbelievable person. I have the best friends in the world so if you try- bring your best. and no- no gown offerings. seriously.

That is my overdue update.

I hope all is well.

My love to all- I will have a new guess what soon.

Congrats to Zach and Sam.

Questions of the moment.

1. Is video bowling the new 'social activity' amoung twenty somethings, or is Des Moines super lame? I am a bit torn on this question, because I am a fan of the video bowling. This is why. We are going to back track a bit here so bear with me.

When I moved to Des Moines, I knew it was the right choice for the time but I wasn't sold. Even with two years under my belt in a great job I wasn't sold on Des Moines. Part of this I attribute to the transformation into the "responsible" adult world where at times it can be considered "frowned upon" when you go out every night and know the drink specials by heart. So where does one meet people in Des Moines? I don't spend alot of time with people from work (other than Kelli) because inevitably- you end up talking about work. I go to book stores and coffee shops, but I go there to be quiet and read- not scam for someone that has things in common. I am involved in a few other Des Moines non-profits but no good matches- I think "work Claire" and "friend Claire" are different enough that it takes a strong person to understand both. My mind frame for Des Moiens was temporary, as most of my living stints have been- and then it occured to me that I have a load of great friends right here in Des Moines and I should spend time with them. By being a regular part of their life I am not commiting to living here forever- I am simply making the most of the situation.
and then there was bowling...five weeks ago, on a Monday night, Kelli and I got off work and decided that the best way to settle the day would be to have a few drinks. We decided to go to the Hessen Haus because it is downtown and we could get dinner... I called Tony and Cy, beacuse in my revelation of making the most of friends, they were a huge part of it. (up until recently, I saw Tony more often when we lived hours apart) So tony recommended the High Life Lounge where another friend of ours, Billy, manages. We met at 6:00, had a burger basket, played three games each, and drank 8 pitchers of beer and league night was born. It has grwon from four players to eight and I anticipate that it is on the rise.
What I have come to realize that we took something average, and made it great. It doesn't cost a lot of money- you are surrounded by great friends, and it is super chill. We have a great server at the bar- his name is Mike and he is 20- super cute and pretty vulgar and innapropriate at times. Love him. So- I am starting to makeover the Des Moines social scene one night at a time.
Note: This is a huge step for me as I don't get into alot of th "artsy" cover bullshit that people are trying to generate. It seems to be lie it is a group of people who like to talk about how different they are and sacrafice integrity for some sort loner/struggling artist image. excuse me while I yawn.

2. The single thing. Defying the social norms with an independent view of realtionships. I have thought of this more recently after having this discussion with a few different groups of friends. I have friends that are married with children, friends in serious longterm relationships, friends having sex for burritos, and friends so focussed on their careers that they haven't had any sort of intimacy in a year. So where do I fall? Gladly, i do not belong in any of these categories, thankfully. though and one time or another I have fit into them all- except the marriage and kids thing. ( you were hoping it was the burrito category- hey a girls go to eat..right Sam?) I attribute my place to a few different elements.
a. generation/standards gap. We seem to be in the middle of a gap between the expectation to go to college, get a job, get married, have kids. I know that this is a coice but I find even now that I have single friends who think less of them selves because they have yet to acheive this. They continually compare themselves to family members and their own parents making references like," when my mom was my age, she already had two kids and she had been married for six years." great- you aren't your mom. the other end of the spectrum includes the friends who are terrified of and king of normalacy and thrive on no responsibility. they could be the group that is focussed on their carreers or even the group who really evjoys casual sex and doesn't feel the need to be emotionally involved to be intimate physically with someone. Again- though I have touch upon both of these groups- it's just not me.
why not? I have unbelievable friends. I have friends and family that represent tis spectrum and I have learned a great deal from their experiences. I have had my own experiences that have shaped this view but more so from those around me. Also- my friends provide for me what most people will never experience.... the complete emotional, social, loving, caring, trusting, amazing qualities that make it nearly impossible to find a mate that would begin to compare. Tough shoes to fill.... but lets be hones- Mama's shoes need to be filled every know and them. wink. I will also have to add that I have not been near the best examples of "happy, healthy marriages" within my own family. It's not baggage I am carrying, rather a better understanding of what I want from a person. So there you have my perspective in a nutshell.
Could I kill a clown for no reason other than it being a clown? yes. Clon terrify me. Iam not sure why but I cannot be near them, it freaks me out. I do not have anxiety about any other things- but clowns- eugh. One day at camp last year one of the counselors had their mom come in in full on clown get up and I walked into the room unknowingly. After I blurted, "Who let that in here?" I went outside and threw up. yeah- like that freaked out.

I had a dream the other night that I was in a large house and friends with some NFL players- everyone left and I was walking around looking for a place to take a nap. (football players wear me out- ooh- Ashton Kutcher was there too- we wrestled.) As I am wondering around this huge house I see a huge, red, cobra snake. This snke is ten feet tall and looking for me. So I duck out in a closet and stand still and watch it pass before running upstairs and hiding in the Master bath with two exits. I planned that this was the room to hide in because of the multiple exits.
When I woke up I looked it up in my dream dictionary and basically it sadi taht a close friend would deceive and disapooint me but Iw ould be aware of it and watch it pass, and that I would make unhealthy assumptions about the situations, but it would pass and everything would be fine. In the words of my late grandfather,"horse shit."

Sam is in town and we had a blast last night. If possible, we have crossed a new level of friendship and we can never turn back. without revealing too many details I will say that at one point Sam had his underwear around his ankles and was chasing me around the room. Hilarious. anyone who can stand in front of you naked without any sort of sexual vibe tugging at their dick narrating that "it's weird, you can pull it all the way over here- or here- or here" and then chase you around the room, tackle you, and try to stick in your ear- well, that is a good friend.

To all of you- have great weekend. I will have pictures Monday of the weekends events.

ciao!

C

Chris Kilgore- if you are still reading.... where are you?

Guess what this is.

Week 2. Enter your guess under the comments section of the picture. The winner this week will win a two paragragh email stating how, just this once, you are better than everyone else.

cheers!
c

guesswk2 

And the winner is....

Sam Griffin. Sam correctly identified the "Guess what this is" week one entry as " a cork in your brothers belly button". Thank you to all who entered the competition- we will have a new picture tomorrow. There were many great guesses and even some cold calls demanding to know what the picture was- I will not say that Sam won fair and square... but the again- why would i ever describe Sam as fair or square- there are benefits to having the inside track. (sam is on the inside track because his mother makes rice krispie treats) oh- and we have a great friendship.

As for the picture posted below- there is no mistake what this is..... My mother at my high school graduation. she is such a show off.


hope all of you are having a great day- I will post more tomorrow.

ciao
c

queen