I realize that the readers of this blog may be experiencing intermintent disapoointment for my lack of communication and though i could flood this paragraph with excuses and reason, I shall pass.... I simply haven't had the focus to sit down and summarize the last weeks happenings. (damn there was an excuse) Truth be told, the past few weeks have been some of the best of the year and I feel quite lucky to share this life with the rest of you.
Before we begin: You have to listen to
The Shins album "chutes too narrow" and in particular, the song, 'kissing the lipless'. It reminds me of a friend. And the entire ablum is fantastic. Also, 'Gone for Good' rocks my face.
Every summer I have my "summer ablum" the mucic that you can't get away from, the cd that is always playing in your car, the song that you make everyone listen to. Last year it was the Beastie boys 'to the five burroughs'... this year... absolutely the Shins. Although Mariah- girl you know we turned the party out.
Friends Laughing!This summer began with loads of tumultuous feelings and it truly was a struggle I thought that i would have to carry on my own... over the past few years I have become much more guarded in friendships because it seems that things have a better success rate and truth be told, I am far less disappointed when I have nothing invested. SO... I kept a distance at the start of the summer but a great friend, by the name of Ryan Loucks, knows nothing of these boundaries. Ryan has faith in everyone, until he has reason not to. He is alos the LEAST judgemental person I have ever known in my entire life. We had hung out quite a bit together over the last year and he remembers the friendship before I had quite so much responsibility and before I carried preconceived ideas about how I was supposed to act (try doing that sometime- its a real bitch.) So I was embraced by the Newton Posse... even before the summer started. At first I didn't understand the dynamic... it was all a bit foreign to me... they seemed to fall together- but they fit really well.
When summer arrived the staff arrived, and with that came fantastic friendships that were ready to be continued. I was close with vicky last year, but i didn't really know her. I was close with Andrew, but it wasn't until Christmas that I really spent time with him and began to really adore him. I knew Kyla last year, we worked together, but there really wasn't a connection. I thought she was young and I had no idea how far beyond her years she actually is.... (except for Shelby Lynn aka TRAINWRECK). Obviously my brother and I are close... but we are both really getting used to hanging out with the same people. Sometimes it works and some times it does not. at all. And Loucks. we had Newton and friendship and many shared experiences, but now he has camp... and it has given him this fresh breath of air through his soul and you can see it on his face while he is working and I don't think there is anything that is more graciously beautiful than seeing someone at their absolute best and being so completely fucking content at the same time. People search for this kind of thing all of their life and they really forget to look in places like this.
so weekends drifted towards Newton and a group of people gathered. We caught heat from other people who thought we were excluding them and it wasn't that at all- we simply REALLY enjoyed the company of the people that were there- we could be completely realaxed- or just sleep and there wasn't any focus on the only thing that brought us together: work. there were also NO expectations, and I don't know about any of the rest of you but when your entire week, 16 hours a day, 6 days a week is filled with nothing but people expecting things from you... it is what you live for sometimes, that quiet comfortable silence, the shared pan of mac and cheese, having a nice quiet meal with anna upstairs, playing "knock 'em around", bongsley, ballbanger on andrew's forehead, singing motorhead and RENT on the golf cart.... trying to move the damn teapot without consequence.... a subtle existence where you really care about everyone in the room but you don't have to talk about it.. there is nothing to prove.
and then the glorious Newton Crew: The coolest group of chill people in the universe. i never thought I would be writing this after i finally got away from it all. (moving away from Newton and the way that I thought that Ihad to be while there... funny, without feelings, that sort of thing.) But I can choose it now, so it is better.
So I first was inducted back into the newton environment when Ryan's band played at my Christmas party. Anna and Kristi came but I didn't really spend much time with them. It wasn't really until this summer that I really understood what they have... it is an unspoken complete acceptance that is rarely found. It is what you are supposed to have with friends, but as the world progresses, people mistake friendship for having things in common. Should you be able to have a conversation, yes. But having all similar interests is a surface that will sell itself out. with this groups of people, it is all about being yourself, even if you are not always at your best.
Anna and I may have been seperated at birth. We are too much alike, in that hilarious sort of say one word and sing for three minutes afterwards.... an instant friendship as if we had known each other for years. Anna and i can talk for hours. I can honestly say that from the moment that we met, I knew that would be great friends and that we would know each other for the rest of our lives. I know- big commitment.... I am so proud of Anna for going on to school- this girl is going to change the world. Seriously.
Kristi is like the mama bird of the group. She really cares alot for every person in the crew. she has two amazing boys- seriously amazing kids, who are polite, creative, intelligent little people- the kind of kids that can hang out with the "big kids" and play pool, but the still curl up in your bed and watch the incredibles and play with toys. I guess this is what well adjusted children are like- I have just never had this experience. Kristi is probably one of the most beautifully sensitive, chill, intelligent women I have encountered in a long time. she is the person that calls you to see if you are feeling alright because she heard you were sick... she is old school thoughtful. she has a great sense of self and is waiting for someone great to reognize that. Her friends certainly do...and not that you need a man sis- but don't settle... life is still waiting for your big entrance.
Judd... the man of mystery... or is he? Judd is a talented introspective soul who entertains small audiences only. his skill for writing and performing hardly outshine his ability to charm the ladies.
Damo- I love you. You remind me of a simpler time when I was at my best. You are a fantastiv man and I feel very lucky to know you.
Champion of "knock 'em around" and good sport of "swatting for salmon" is a my new friend Brady. Brady is the type of guy that every person wants to know. Suprisingly enough- he is incredibly shy. When I first met Brady- he was told to perform a variety of tricks in Kristi's basement and I thought he was hilarious but I thought he was another one of those guys that is super funny but has a tough time breaking down a great conversation. (I used to be that guy) Brady does perform at times (I believe) because people want him to, but more so, I think he likes for his friends to e enjoying themselves. We can talk about art and music and sing fugees and beastie boys for hours. What I did not realize, is that he is a sensitive, ultra intelligent, really thoughtful human being- not that I thought there was no way he could be those things, but he is really at that point where he's done waiting at the crosswalks...
the part of life where you watch everyone pass and have to wait and wait and wait... and even though it seems like it should have already been your turn, you stand there- waiting- you don't want to go while the light is red because you know that the car that you didn't see will slam their brakes and honk their horn and scream at you to get out of the road, that you don't belong there, but then- it all passes, and the hand is waving at you- and it is your turn to go. At last there is a sign that is is FINALLY- your turn to go.I may have just beaten a metaphor into the ground there- but while typing I came to acknowledge that even though all of us are at very different times in our lives, all of us are at the cross walk and the hand is waving- it is our turn to walk.
Jealous?
c
