A Better Version of Myself.

Glimpses of a life that will not provoke jealously or resentment, rather, a simplistic understanding of an understated life.

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

A day in the lunch of Thai...

I consider myself to be an open- minded soul who can find the best of every situation... often compromising my own preferences so that others shall be better accomodated... well, well, well, I may just have to start changing my mind about that.

No work is getting done today, I have decided this long ago, perhaps even weeks ago, that I would infact, show up to work but accomplish nothing. WEll, I have failed because I returned phone calls for a few hours this morning... HOWEVER, after 11:00am I have checked out. So two other girls in my department and I decide that we'll make an exploratory road trip out of some "business" errands. We have to deliver pens that have all of our contact information to case managers in the area as a Thank You disguised as a marketing tool. Brilliant you say? underminded I say. So we have three local non-profit agencies to go to ... I am nervous in these situations because I don't really want to stand and talk about all the great things happening at your agency and I don't want to hear how you couldn't stand the last director at where I work... ya know? I am giving you a passive aggressive gift here- accept it, and then let me go.

So three down and we are on to lunch. One of the crew decides that in the spirit of exploration, we should go for Thai food. Great. I have heard of Thai food, I have friends that like Thai food, so it makes sense that I would like Thai food- and I am always up for something new. (Let it be known that if I go to a place to experience authentic food, I will usually jump right off of the deep end) and I did... my counterparts playing it safe with sweet and sour this and spicy (mild) noodles that... oh no... I order the Green Curry extra hot. We started with appetizers of crab rangoon (always safe) but then my big bowl of stink arrived... it smelled like garbage. And it tasted like garbage on fire. Not to over shadow Kelli's soup that looked and tasted like soapy ginger bath water... yeah, mine was far off- I couldn't even begin to finish it and now I have some sort of Dante's Inferno re-writing inself inside of me (I know that is a bit much for most of you) Nonetheless, I have trouble playing it safe when it comes to a number of things.... and I will continue to try out of my comforts.. but throw a girl a bone here- when you take someone to a restaurant... give them some sort of clue what may or may not taste like spicy rot. thank you.


My Sammay is in town and we are hanging out tonight. I am going to the fams house for dinner and competative games (nothing better than games at the Griffins) and then we are off to have some drinks which hopefully will not end in what I like to call the 2am dualing banjos. (partner puke) It was a "home for the Holidays" spectacle that could bring tears to your eyes....

I went to two movies this weekend which is a bit out of the norm for me... I saw Lord of the Rings with Ramon, (splendid time) and then ELF with my nephew, who stated that he, in fact has no room for believing in Santa because he saw the wrapping paper in his arents room.... ugh. He's nine going on 25 and I guess it is alright. He says he has a plan this year that will in fact, tell him what the deal is. (his words) My brother blames it on television... that every show on in the evening deals with Santa not being real... I'd like everyone to join me in singing Poison's hit"Something to believe in"... now that is a Christmas Carol

I am going to Chicago on Friday. I decided today. I have to see my friend Mike and I can , cause I have wheels now baby!

Lovin, Lovin, Lovin

Happy Holidays.

Dradle dradle dradle, I made you out of clay.

oompa!

c

Wednesday, December 10, 2003

Chinese Swing my ass.

Today has been a busy, stressfulish day... my time escaped me and therefore I am frustrated. I need to go home to let the dog out and pick up Pam. I have been in meetings for 6.5 hours today... half hour for lunch and the rest in transit..... (to and fro meetings). I don't like meetings. I feel stretched, thin. I would like to work late but I cannot, at no fault of Pams, but I would just like to get some shit done.

The title of the blog comes from a relaxation technique that was taught in a mandatory stress relief class yesterday- yeah- make me go to another meeting, alll the while you are telling me to relax and all I can think of is all the shit I should be doing BESIDES relaxing..... ahhhhh! so- chinese swing can kiss my ass- give me a diet coke and a smoke.


Other than that. Things are great. I talked to Chris night before last and he is coming this weekend. I am so supa excited.

more. soon.
c

Monday, December 08, 2003

Audio what???

So as I was just logging on to this... there is a new feature where you can leave audio entries... hmm.. I think it is hilarious, or a bit ridiculous- I suppose it is the next big thing... but I don't know- isn't that what 3 a.m. drunk calls are for? I don't know about any of you, but I do not enjoy the sound of my own recorded voice. Perhaps it is because you can't really take it back, or because I sound like a nervous sixth grader who just ate some cheese (sound it out). However, the 3a.m. calls (or later) are the best, you get a bit of reinforcement as the the outgoing message of the person that you are calling ENCOURAGES you to spill it.. the you get to let it all out- KNOWING that more than likely you will not have to hear that voice ever again... unless, you have friends like mine who save these messages and play them for me even if it has been months. Those are great friends. I have done it too... like when Chris was in Vegas, or Arizona or somewhere and he called, completely wasted, and for the first ten minutes screamed my name into the machine and then proceeded to tell me that it was my fault that he was drunk and becoming an alcoholic (I was the first person that he had several drinks with)..the message was about eight minutes in length, I could be exaggerating, but it was hilarious, so I held on to it. And then there was Cody's call from LA, where the phone was passed around to every one at the party and they all thought I was actually on the phone... and Cody had the hiccups and spent more time leaving a message for the dog than for me. Those a re great...but the point is, unless you have great friends like me, you don't have to hear your own sentiments, drunk or sober, ever again. And that is refreshing. So I say no to the audio journal.

And now I will give you short but adequate biographies on all of the mentioned individuals that appear in my blogs... this is at the round about request of those that read these, and I want all of you to know each other so that one day, we can have our own invitation only island where all of the deserving people live. The following is in no particular order, and I mean that, so if your name is towards the end of the list, perhaps it is because I am saving the best for last, if your name is in the middle, maybe I needed you there to keep people reading, and if you are first, well, I think we all know the value of being number one... nonetheless, everyone is important.

Brother, Matthew: Lives in Des Moines, has a son, Michael, who is hilarious, other half is Angie. My brother is my best friend.

Sister, MacKenzie: Lives in Raleigh, North Carolina. Has four children, Sammy age four, Olivia age 3, Rosemary age 1 and John age six weeksish. MacKenzie is married to Jimmy, a full-blooded italian stallion who is easy on the eyes and has sarcasm to back it up. Jimmy is MacKenzie's second husband, the first not worth mentioning because he is a d-bag and I never did trust his beady little eyes. MacKenzie and I are less than a year apart, and though we do not see each other often, we are close.

Steve: my dog. He is a bastard but I love him. His Holiday present this year will be to get the boys chopped.

Allison, or Alli: Best friend in the whole muthafuckin world. Allison and I met at Camp in the summer of 1998... we were roomates for a few years in Iowa City. The kind of friend that every person should be able to have. We have a great time together, nothing ever changes, regardless of distance and she is a person that I will know forever and we will have vacations together when we are sixty so we can have cocktails and talk about our husbands. Hers will most likely be Brian, mine, yet to be determined.

Sam: HEYYY BABY!! Sam and I met in Iowa City in an art class back when I knew he was gay and he wasn't sure. We developed a great friendship and then lost track of eachother for about 4 years... fast forward, he came back into my life last Spring and we have the best time together. Calm, crazy, whatever the circumstances. Sam now lives in NYC with three roomates, is in advertising and taking that city by storm. (words don't do this boy justice)

Cody: awww... Cody is a great friend. We know how tohave fun no mattter where or when.... WE were roomates for about a year and some, it worked well and now he still lives in Des Moines. WE talk often and when we hang out we have great times. I love him, and his mom... and his brother too, and Kevin, who is the dad that Cody always deserved, but is just now getting.

Chris, or Kilgs, or Kilgore: where do I start. Chris is a great friend that doesn't believe in soul mates. Chris and I have each helped each other discover things that neither knew we had. We worked together in Iowa City and I wouldn't let him not have me as a friend, since then we have enjoyed many a time and a few great road trips as well. I got nothing but love for Kilgs. I think we could take over the world if we wanted too.

Tim Rock, or just Tim: Great friend, longtime great friend. Lives in NYC working as an actor, unbelievably talented. Tim and I have lots of love between us, and a timeless understanding of what great people are about. WE share an appreciation for beauty in simple things. Tim and I have been great friends since I was a senior in high school.... 95-96. We used to jump on a trampoline and he and Jim and Ryan would push me down and jump around me until I thought that I might throw up, bastards.

Mike: awww... Mike Magnus lives in SanFransisco and that is where I met him (1999). He works for a company that I temped for and we became great friends. We spent alot of time toegether when I lived out there as people from the Midwest tend to find eachother.....and hopefully I will get to see him this Christmas. I love him. We can seriously have some great times together... even if I am draped over a flower planter on the streets of Chicago...

Erin, or ErGr: Great friend. Roomate in Iowa City, now lives in Chicago with Travis and Wade. Erin is one of my best friends and she is hilarious and intelligent and beautiful all in one.

Travis: my pooka. Travis and I met.... hm....in 1998 while we were both working in Iowa City. We moved together to San Fransisco and despite the distance that has developed in the past few years (literally, as in location) we remain very close. I have deep love for Travis.

Wafe: snarf. Wade I met in Iowa City and we had some great times together, now lives in Chicago, going to school at the art institute. Very funny guy.

Jim... it took me this long to get to Jim? Jim is a fantastic, beautiful friend. He is on of Tim's (see above) best friends and we went to high school together. We spent time together this summer after a few years of no contact.. and it was wonderful. Jim has really come into his own and I amglad to know him. Jim is currently in Prague teaching English.

Korey: WEnt to high school with Korey. He is a greay guy. I was friends with his older brother Sam. Korey is an incredibly intelligent guy that just doesn't realize how great he is.

Kelli: My co-worker, quickly becoming a great friend. Kelli and I work every day together, but we share some great times outside all this.

Pam: Consumer of where I work, has a disability, mother passed away, she stays with me sometimes and I love her.

Sarah: Cody's new roomate, and a friend. Brilliant girl. Hilarious.

Luke: worked with him this summer, he live in South Africa... beautiful inside and out. Old soul he is. Luke was my partner in crime this summer and we went places and had great times. We also saw Ziggy Marley in concert on the river and that was priceless. god times. more to come.



Alright- now I know that there is absolutely no way that I have included every person that is important in my life, but thios is a start and I do have to get back to work.

I love you all and hope to talk to many if not allof you very soon.

Also, Alli, it was great to spend time with you this weekend. I miss you so much.

Mike, finally we got to talk on the phone, hopefully I will see you over Christmas.

Kilgs, what no answering machine??? email me or call me or something. I would like to see you soon.


Lovins and smushins to all.
c

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

Long December...

Things are going very well in my world right now. I haven't been keeping up with this as I have been living life more so than reflecting on it... and Cody moved out so I don't have a computer at home.

I have been spending alot of time with Pam, a friend whose mother passed away and she does not have any family, she has a disability and few resources... she spent Thanksgiving with my family and they love her. It was wnderful.

So I am thinking about going to Prague... to see Jim. He is great and I would/ will travel the ocean to spend time with him. Tru dat.

I haven't heard from anyone recently... all the peeps are spreading their wings and I hope that in doing that, we do not loose each other.

hope all are well. Much love, I am out.